CRITICAL REFLECTION ESSAY

Creating the music video for "Has to Be" by CapzLock was an exhilarating venture into the realms of cyber pop and glitch core, genres known for their avant-garde soundscapes and visual aesthetics that challenge the norms of music where I dared to defy conventional music videos. This project not only allowed me to express my creativity through niche music and techniques but also provided a platform to represent hijabi women and delve into social and internal issues often overlooked or suppressed in mainstream media discourse. My journey began in the boundless libraries of online content, where I gathered the petals of inspiration that would eventually bloom into the "Has to Be" music video. Artists like Jexx, Megan Tan Hweewen, Recider, Agnod3, Marc Steiner provided the seeds of creativity that I sought to nurture in my own work. This eclectic mix influenced the unique visual and thematic direction of the music video, particularly in its bold representation of themes such as isolation, lunacy, split personality, technological delusions, schizophrenia  and introspection—themes that resonated deeply with my own experiences. The video does not shy away from the complexity of these experiences but instead embraces them, using the language of visuals to communicate feelings that are often difficult to express in words. This project was not just about creating entertainment but about touching on the real, often hidden struggles that people face. By bringing these issues to the forefront in a creative and empathetic manner, the music video aimed to foster understanding and offer viewers a mirror to their own internal battles, perhaps helping some feel less alone in their struggles.  In "Has to Be," I chose to tackle the pervasive feelings of isolation, imposter syndrome, derealization and mental strain brought on by life as Muslim and new hijabi woman currently at a mental war with herself. "Has to Be" was conceived as a narrative that unfolds within a digital dystopia, a space where fragmented realities converge to blur the lines between reality and fantasy. This setting allowed me to tackle themes of identity and duality, particularly through the lens of a hijabi woman navigating contrasting worlds. Each frame and sequence was carefully crafted to challenge stereotypes associated with hijabi women, presenting a protagonist who is complex, battling internal and social conflicts, and defying the simplistic narratives often portrayed in media. The dual realities in the video symbolize the external perceptions versus the internal experiences of the character, illustrating the struggle of balancing personal identity with societal expectations. Elements such as the 90s reminiscent phones, contrasting with the other devices that I showed also hinted at the fragmentation of reality and self, as well as being stuck in my past. Recider’s technique of juxtaposing conflicting visual elements to represent internal conflict inspired me to use similar methods. I learned to use disjointed imagery and abrupt transitions to depict the fragmented reality experienced by individuals with schizophrenia, effectively conveying this through rapid cuts and distorted visual effects that reflect the chaotic perception of the protagonist. In my music video project, I embraced various postmodern elements to enhance the visual storytelling and engage the audience on multiple levels. One of the key postmodern techniques I employed was intertextuality, which involves referencing or incorporating styles, themes, and elements from other media texts. By weaving references to well-known cultural artifacts, other music videos, and popular cinema such as The Matrix into the video, I created layers of meaning that viewers could unpack. Another postmodern technique evident in my work is the creation of hyperreality, a condition in which the line between the real and the simulated becomes blurred. I used advanced digital effects to create surreal environments that appeared as real and tangible as physical sets. This hyperreal aesthetic challenged viewers’ perceptions of reality within the video, making them question what was real and what was digitally constructed, thus engaging them in a meta-narrative about the nature of reality and illusion. The use of pastiche involved combining multiple stylistic elements and genres to create a new, eclectic mix. This stylistic convergence with illustration, glitch anc cinematography showcased the video’s acknowledgment of its influences while simultaneously pushing the boundaries of genre conventions. The music video’s storyline was intentionally fragmented, with non-linear jumps in time and space that mirror the chaotic inner world of the protagonist. In my work, deconstruction is evident, playing with narrative structures, breaking the fourth wall, or using unconventional formats that make the audience question the nature of the narrative itself. In my music video project, I deliberately embraced the technique of self-referentiality to enhance the narrative depth and engage viewers on a meta-level. Throughout the video, the artist occasionally looked directly into the camera, addressing the audience directly. This technique was used to blur the lines between performance and reality, making viewers acutely aware that they are watching a constructed piece of art. This direct engagement adds a layer of intimacy and immediacy, drawing viewers deeper into the narrative while simultaneously reminding them of its artifice. Another layer of self-referentiality came from incorporating elements of the video’s production into the video itself such as the shot of a video playing in my camera screen. Self-referential symbols were scattered throughout the video, such as mirrors, cameras, and screens displaying the video within the video. These symbols were used to reflect on the nature of perception and reality, emphasizing how music videos can alter and distort the truth or reality they claim to represent. By integrating these elements, I aimed to encourage the audience to question not just what they see in the video but how they see and interpret visual media in general.

In crafting the visual narrative for my music video, I delved deeply into the realm of cyber pop and glitch core aesthetics using vivid color schemes and rapid intercutting transitions, a choice that not only elevated the thematic complexity but also enhanced the storytelling through visual and auditory chaos. The vivid colors, particularly the use of blue cyan color grading, brought a cool, futuristic tone to the scenes, suggesting a digital, almost otherworldly space where the protagonist navigates her internal conflicts. Employing unconventional music and visual techniques was pivotal in defying normalcy. The glitch core elements—characterized by rapid cuts, distorted sounds, voiceovers and visually jarring sequences—mirrored the internal chaos of the protagonist. Meanwhile, the cyber pop aspects brought a polished, futuristic aesthetic that contrasted sharply with the raw, unfiltered chaos, embodying the clash between personal dreams and harsh realities. The use of non-linear storytelling, where scenes shift abruptly, served to emphasize the dissonance between the protagonist's worlds and states of mind, challenging the audience's perception and encouraging them to question what is real and what is not. The incorporation of glitch effects was crucial in depicting the mental and emotional turbulence experienced by the protagonist. These effects—characterized by visual and auditory disruptions—mimicked the sudden, jarring intrusions of unwanted thoughts and the erratic nature of a distressed mind. By intentionally distorting visuals and sounds, I aimed to create an unsettling atmosphere that pulls viewers into the protagonist’s fragmented reality. Glitch effects were not merely decorative but served a narrative function, symbolizing the breakdown of mental stability and the disruptive impact of technological interference on the human psyche. The choice of blue cyan color grading was deliberate, aiming to imbue the video with a cold, technological feel that aligns with the cyber pop theme. This color scheme also contrasts starkly with warmer, more natural tones, highlighting the synthetic and unnatural aspects of the protagonist’s digital interactions. The blue cyan tones evoke feelings of isolation and alienation, reinforcing the narrative of a protagonist who feels disconnected from her surroundings and herself. This color choice also helps to unify the visual elements, creating a cohesive look that makes the chaotic elements more striking. To further enhance the narrative, I incorporated chaotic visual and auditory elements that disrupt the video’s flow in unexpected ways. Rapid transitions, jump cuts, and frenetically paced sequences contribute to a feeling of disorientation and unpredictability. These elements are strategically placed to jar the audience, mirroring the sudden, often jarring shifts in the protagonist’s perceptions and emotional responses. The use of non-linear storytelling was a crucial narrative device. Scenes do not follow a straightforward chronological order but instead appear as fragmented pieces of the protagonist’s memories and experiences. This style of storytelling reflects the chaotic nature of the protagonist’s thoughts and challenges viewers to piece together the narrative, much like solving a puzzle. It invites the audience to engage more deeply with the video, pondering the boundaries between reality and perception. From a branding perspective, "Has to Be" was designed to solidify my identity as an artist who dares to push boundaries and address complex themes. The visual identity of the video—with its stark color contrasts, innovative use of 3d metallic designs, glitchy patterns, stars and modernist cyberpunk influences—was crafted to be instantly recognizable and distinctly associated with my artistic persona. This branding strategy extends beyond the video, influencing my social media aesthetics, merchandise designs, and public appearances, ensuring a cohesive and immersive experience for my audience. Understanding the importance of audience engagement, I actively used my Instagram page to connect with viewers, sharing updates, spoilers, and trailers, polls, questionnaires, and snippets that not only increased anticipation but also built a community around the music video. To engage with my audience more deeply, I incorporated interactive elements both online and in live settings. Prior to the video's release, I launched a series of teaser posts and content that hinted at the themes and aesthetic of the video. These posts were designed to spark curiosity and discussions around the representation of hijabi women in media, my genre theme and the use of digital spaces to explore personal identity. Additionally, I hosted Q&A sessions post-release to discuss the themes of the video, further engaging with my audience's thoughts and interpretations, and fostering a community of viewers who are passionate about transformative narratives in music and media. The music video, free of viewing restrictions, reaches a diverse audience, inviting them to reflect on the message. Moreover, the merchandise related to the video is featured prominently on my storefront, enhancing viewer interaction and bringing the video's world into their own. "Has to Be" is more than just a music video; it is a statement, a piece of art that challenges, questions, and invites interpretation. It stands as a testament to the power of music and visual media to address overlooked social and internal issues, pushing the envelope on how hijabi women are viewed in society and how genres like cyber pop and glitch core can be harnessed to explore deep, meaningful themes. Through the creation of "Has to Be," I learned to balance artistic vision with audience engagement, intertwining chaos, fragmented self, dystopian realities, nostalgia and societal commentary with cyber pop innovation. This project reaffirmed the power of music videos as a dynamic form of art that can challenge societal norms, offer new perspectives on common struggles, and celebrate the diversity of human experience. The successful reception of the video underscored Stuart Hall’s theory of encoding and decoding, as the audience not only embraced but also actively engaged with the narrative, finding in it a reflection of their own struggles. Andrew Goodwin’s theory, which highlights the synchronization between lyrics and visuals, the presence of artist performance, and the relationship between music and visuals, also played a critical role in shaping the video. The Uses and Gratifications Theory suggests that audiences actively seek out media that meets specific needs or desires, such as entertainment, information, personal identity, and social interaction. Understanding this theory guided me to design content that not only entertained but also provided a platform for viewers to explore deeper aspects of their identity and connect with others. My use of unconventional themes and elements, grounded in research and inspired by iconic influences, hopefully sets a new precedent in how music videos can address serious topics in visually captivating ways. Through this project, I aimed not only to entertain but also to enlighten, provoke, and inspire conversations that transcend traditional media narratives, making "Has to Be" a milestone in my artistic journey.